Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.
And my spouse and kerchief and I with my CPAP
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap.
When all a sudden there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away with the CPAP I flew like a flash
My spouse spoke in sputters and blew up the sash
The lamp now on to reveal the rancorous show
The mouth open midway with the flapping lips a blow
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a uvula in full display, rattling my sweet dear
With a little swift flutter so lively and quick
I wondered in a moment if something might stick
More howling than beagles the noises they came
And then whistled, and shouted, and called out my name!
Now dear no CPAP, why do you stare so vexen
Oh come on how stupid, snoring, just listen?
Listen to the SnoreLab app, you really wail
Now snore away, CPAP away, Landmark can do all
I spoke not a word, Doc went straight to his work,
And lasered all the hangings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of my nose,
And giving a nod, up the nostril it goes!
They tested my apnea, better now, till I heard you whistle,
Sleeping now is like the down of a thistle.
But I heard Doc exclaim, for those who snore we can make right,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night
You may not be able to put the laser under a tree, but you can have a gift card from landmark to treat the snoring or sleeping problems that your loved ones may have!
NightLase for snoring and Sleep apnea
